Building a Life

Constructing a stronger foundation, day by day.

Hello lovely readers! Here we are, at the end of another month! May seems to be a notoriously busy and long month for many, so I hope that you can find some pockets of time for recharging in the days and weeks to come. My daughter Ava is officially on summer vacation, so amidst some surge in anxiety, I’ve been leaning into outings and pool time with her before her summer camps start next week. As always, thank you for reading and being here!

BUILD: construct (something) by putting parts or material together. Make stronger or more intense. (Source: Oxford Languages)

Last weekend, a couple cherished friends visited us from New York. Amidst our catch-ups and giggling, our conversations often turned toward questions of what is important, and how we reconcile the notion of living life and making time for things that matter, while also being ambitious, creative women. It made me think of what it looks like to build our days, and in turn, our lives.

For me, lately, that looks like building in time for play, like building with Legos, or doing a puzzle, or playing a game with Ava. It is time for movement and moving my body in a way that feels good, not punitive. When I lift weights I feel empowered, when I stretch my body and glide through the water swimming laps, I feel peace. It is time to make a second breakfast or a nourishing lunch. To pause on assignments so I can join my virtual writing group for our bi-monthly meeting and celebrate one another’s successes and troubleshoot challenges. To meet a friend for drinks and meaningful conversation without the distraction of our children, or a date night with my husband over margaritas at our favorite local Mexican spot.

These are the blocks that build a life. The time we spend with others and giving back to ourselves are the foundation that makes a life something we get to construct. This is what makes us stronger, our lives more intensely worth living.

When I reach a point of overwhelm—which I’ve embraced as something that is going to wash over me from time to time—I have the luxury of stopping to ask myself: what do I want my days to look like? (And it is a luxury, especially with all that is happening around the world and a time of deep division.) What if the antidote to overwhelm is a reframing that considers building in time for what brings us joy, peace, pleasure, or calm, not as looking at what we have to take away, omit, or restrict.

Building the life you want creates more authenticity and allows you to keep showing up in the world with more intention and thoughtfulness toward yourself and others. This is the kind of strength that I strive to build. I hope that you take a moment today to consider what you want to build into your days.

Memoir Updates

I’m not gonna lie. It’s been pretty nice taking the month of May off from my memoir. I’m even feeling little inklings and urges to start a novel that has been percolating at the back of my mind since last fall. But I’m looking forward to having my consultation call with Katie Bannon, the editor I hired to do a high-level read, and laying out a roadmap for next steps. I’m anxious, nervous, excited, and ready. I’m trusting that I am right where I need to be. And I’m cultivating the kind of confidence as a writer that will allow me to receive feedback and filter it through the lens of what I know to be true for me and my story.

Published Articles & Media Appearances

• My New Favorite Cocktail Has Grilled Banana In It

  For Food Network, I got to write about an incredible cocktail that I had the fortune of sipping on multiple occasions during a press trip to Maui’s Fairmont Kea Lani. At Pilina, its newest bar and restaurant, the cocktails are crafted with 90 percent local ingredients. That includes a bespoke rum created in partnership with Kuleana Rum Works, which Pilina’s general manager, Cameron Hall, used to create the ‘Āina (pictured above, with a gorgeous capture by Trevor Clark), which is the Hawaiian word for “land.” The ‘Āina is a riff on a Kingston Negroni, made with rum, Campari, sweet vermouth and a grilled banana oleo saccharum infused with Hawaiian vanilla and Kona coffee beans. Click on the link above to read about the inspiration and get the recipe for this summer-ready sipper!

• Preeti Waas Is Creating an Inviting Space at Cheeni Durham

  For INDY Week’s food issue, I contributed a profile about chef Preeti Waas. She is a chef I deeply admire and who I’ve had many meaningful exchanges with since I first met her in Raleigh, N.C. at an industry event in 2019. I long for the day when we can sit down in person again over a cup of chai, or better yet, a full spread at her Durham restaurant, Cheeni. I especially can’t wait to to try fish moilee, a dish that Waas says she has “chefs clamoring for.” It features barramundi marinated in lemon juice, turmeric, and salt that’s seared skin-side down and then served in a heady Keralan coconut curry sauce boldly flavored with garlic, ginger, and chilies and finished with green curry leaf oil. And it comes with flaky, crispy Malabar parathas to mop up the lush sauce.

Books, Bites & Beverages

Books:

I tore through and loved Splinters: Another Kind of Love Story (pictured above) by Leslie Jamison. The prose is so original and fresh in a way that seems effortless, which is evidence of a true master of her craft. Splinters refers to both the way the book is constructed—in fragments rather than chapters—and the splintered selves we all embody. In this case, I really related to Jamison’s exploration of the push-pull between motherhood and making art, and between wanting to show up fully for one’s self and one’s child. I can’t wait to go back and read some of her other bestselling and critically lauded works. But first, I’ll enjoy some lighter reads, including the novels Alternate Endings by Ali Rosen and Funny Story by Emily Henry. I am really hoping to build in time to read these poolside.

Bites:

Nearly a week later, my NYC friends and I are still dreaming and talking about Crème Fresh’s mint chocolate chip ice cream (pictured above) which we enjoyed at the end of a shared plates feast at Bloom. The coconut-and-oat-milk base gave it an exceptionally creamy texture (you’d never guess it was dairy-free!) and the texture of the chocolate chips crunched and melted so satisfyingly. Fun fact: the server shared that scoops get its green hue from spirulina, a type of blue-green algae.

Beverages:

Over Mother’s Day weekend, my N.C.-based mama friends crew and I met up for brunch at GIA in Greensboro. These women were a lifeline to me during our weekly calls throughout the pandemic, and we still Zoom once a month with a goal of meeting in person quarterly. I was really impressed with GIA’s zero proof drinks menu, and enjoyed the refreshing Spritz Zero (pictured above), which mingled Lyre’s Italian Spritz, lemon, rosemary, and soda water to light, crisp, refreshing effect. It paired perfectly with a round of garlic-oregano fries with truffle aioli and a fried chicken sandwich amply stacked with pickles and slathered with Cajun aioli (yes, I have a penchant for sauces!).