Hello lovely readers! How is your February so far? January was a bumpy ride for many people, so if that was the case for you, I hope things are evening out a bit on this roller coaster of life. A little coasting sounds nice, doesn’t it, gathering steam for the next uphill climb and adventure? I’m so excited to share this week’s essay, because it combines a few of my favorite things, including ice cream, an unexpected lesson I learned from my daughter, Ava, and the kind of reflection that yields thoughts that I sometimes question whether or not I should put in this newsletter. Do they sound silly? Far-fetched? Am I making connections that are trite? But, committing them to paper (and screen) and sharing them with you feels affirming, especially since it means being vulnerable. Thank you for being here!
MELT: to become altered from a solid to a liquid state usually by heat. Dissolve, disintegrate. To become mild, tender, or gentle. To lose outline or distinctness. (Source: Merriam-Webster)
January in Roanoke brought us enough snow for my daughter, Ava, to build a snowman. After the storm and as the temperatures warmed with each passing day, Ava rearranged the snowman’s accessories to better fit its evolving form, re-centering the carrot nose, aligning the eyes and buttons, adjusting the perch of its felt top hot and the swoop of its red scarf. Finally, one day after school, she burst through the door and announced, “My snowman is dead!” Though her voice was tinged with sadness, she didn’t seem wholly bothered by it. I know that the snowfall, and finally getting to use the snowman accessory kit from two Christmases ago, brought her so much joy.
The experience made me think of how temporary life is, how we are all in a state of melting. Rather than thinking of it in terms of dissolving until we cease to exist, I love thinking about melting as a softening of the self. What happens when we release ourselves from some of the rigidity that hold us in a state of being, or in some cases, merely doing? I think that when we can pause to relax our rules and expectations, we create a sense of gentleness and tenderness for ourselves and others. Maybe in losing some of the strict outlines and structures that we use to anchor our everyday, we can allow some of the lines and boundaries to blur. Perhaps this can help us to consider different forms, shapes, or ideas, and reconsider the things or behaviors that no longer fit or serve us. Maybe it can encourage us to rearrange the parts of ourselves to something that’s more aligned with what we know to be true for us.
I thought about melting in a more literal sense over the weekend during a quick overnight trip to Raleigh to see friends and spend time with my brother Anthony. I booked us tickets for an ice cream brunch, which is as delightful as it sounds, especially in the hands of chef Eric Rivera (whose cooking I also got to experience the night before at my dear friend Stacey’s private birthday dinner). If you know me, my affinity for ice cream runs deep, and in our house it knows no season. Simply put, ice cream represents joy for me. But I also love that ice cream can be a canvas for so many different flavors, and there is something about its ephemerality that speaks to me too. It invites presence, a reminder to savor it while you can. You know, before it melts.
Ice cream loves to be dressed up or down, lends itself to flavors both savory and sweet, and its texture and meltability can be manipulated to express different ideas or to suit a dish (more on that under the Bites section!). It is this exploration of altered states that invites us to reconsider the way that we define ourselves and others, and how we might appreciate melting or dissolving as a way to celebrate the multitudes we contain. As ice cream softens, it changes the way it yields to your spoon and tongue, the way it coats your mouth, the flavors and nuance that emerge and evolve. In this experience, we are reminded that pleasure and time are fleeting. Why not melt into the moment and savor both while we can?
Memoir Updates
I have to be honest: I have been floundering in this latest round of revision. I want to get into my manuscript and polish the prose, make pretty sentences, and flesh out my characters and scenes, but the structure just isn’t there yet. In speaking with writer friends and my writing group, I may have hit on a new idea for how to open the book and take the reader on a journey that better conveys the theme of the book. And I have sought extra guidance by signing up for memoirist, editor, and writing coach Katie Bannon’s Memoir Revision Bootcamp. I’ll treat next week as a writing retreat and give myself the gift of time to really sit with my manuscript and create a new roadmap to revision.
Published Articles & Media Appearances
What Is Eel Sauce? Plus, an Eel Sauce Recipe
For Food Network, I got to collaborate again with Pascale Yamashita, a food stylist, photographer, and expert in Japanese cuisine who is also a lovely person to work with! Japan has been on my travel bucket list for a long time and I hope to get to meet her and eat all the things with her in person someday, including grilled eel with this delectable savory-sweet sauce.
File this one under assignments I didn’t see coming! For this Food Network story, I worked with nutritionist and food safety expert Toby Amidor to learn about the risks and benefits of eating banana peels and how you can incorporate them into your cooking. It’s really cool to think about the kitchen scraps we usually toss in the trash or compost heap and find ways to put them to delicious use.
Books, Bites & Beverages
Books: I’m reading so many books right now that it’s a miracle I can keep them straight. On one end of the spectrum is What You Are Looking For Is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama, which was recommended to me by illustrator and writer Tracy Nishimura Bishop, who I’m lucky to know through my writing group. Turns out most of the group was also reading this book; one person likened the reading experience to the equivalent of a warm hug and cup of tea, which is 100 percent accurate. On the other end of the spectrum is Stephen King’s Holly, a character from King’s trilogy, who gets top billing in this novel as a private investigator who has to outsmart and unravel the plot of a pair of twisted professors. Though I’m not an avid reader of King’s books, this novel is chilling and the subject matter at times gross, but it’s adding up to a good story, which feels like a hallmark of his work.
Bites: Ice cream brunch was such a fun experience! My brother Anthony and I felt like we reached peak adulting by honoring our childhood desire to eat ice cream for breakfast. Highlights from chef Eric Rivera’s seven-course menu included French toast with vanilla soft serve ice cream, coquito powder, and butternut squash jam; a cold-smoked berry and vanilla ombré scoop capped off with grated curls of Parmigiano Reggiano and Manchego; and frozen orange blossom custard with orange blossom infused honey, orange zest, and orange-infused salt. But my favorite was the black cherry ice cream, which instantly gave me foie gras on toast vibes. The ice cream was bolstered with a homemade hot chocolate mix and lightly smoked semi-sweet chocolate powder, and retained its shape with a little culinary sorcery courtesy of little iota carrageenan and gellan. This allowed me to savor each bite without rushing for fear of melting, and the flavors and textures created a deeply complex bite that has me thinking about ice cream toast on repeat.
Beverages: Another stop on my whirlwind Raleigh trip included a visit to Cheeni Indian Food Emporium, which is helmed by chef Preeti Waas. I have been a fan of Preeti’s since I met her at an event in Raleigh (just before I moved to Roanoke) and she had planned ahead to bring me a thermos of chai to try (the fact that I still have this thermos some five years later is an ongoing joke). Preeti had just started Cheeni, in a different location and capacity, and now it’s grown to two full-size locations (including a recently opened Durham location) with coffee, chai, pastries (including the best-ever chocolate chip cookies), snacks, and plated dishes. I didn’t get to give her a hug or to congratulate her on her second James Beard Foundation semifinalist nomination in person, but sitting in the café and sipping a cup of chai was the next best thing.